Love and intimacy are at the core of humanity. The need for each is hardwired in all of us — dreamers, doers, madmen and the perfectly sane. But love and intimacy can also bring us to our knees, leading us into breathtaking emptiness, sadness and despair. Without a doubt, one of the worst parts of love, perhaps one of the worst parts of being human, is finding that the person we love might be falling in love or in-like-a-lot with somebody else. The are many reasons people stray from the arms of a long-term intimate partner and into the arms of another. Sometimes an affair is the externally visible break of something that has been fractured on the inside for a while.
This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. NEW YORK—Divorce is often ugly, but the consequences for kids when infidelity is involved can deepen their anxiety, anger or confusion. That means the third party may become a permanent fixture in the lives of children going forward, forcing an entirely new context on young people as they attempt to sort out villains from victims. The kids are in a lose-lose situation. Myra Chack Fleischer, a San Diego family law attorney who also works on out-of-court collaborative divorces, regularly handles cases involving infidelity. The children find out because one or the other spouse talks to them about it. Divorcing parents often ignore the fact that they might have moved on from the marriage long before the ink is dry on legal papers, while their children have just begun to emotionally process even a temporary separation.
Having discussed many of the forces that can motivate a person to commit infidelity, what does one do when its discovered? Discovering that one's spouse has cheated is a devastating experience for most people. Common reactions to the discovery include anger, rage, rejection, anxiety and fear, loss, betrayal and despair.