Whether you're divorced or not, if you have children, it is really "until death do you part. On the other hand, when your relationship is discordant and you're in opposition to one another, you burden your child with feelings of anger, separation anxiety, pain, and suffering. And, because your child is the sum total of you and your ex spouse, he may feel conflicted in his own identity when either of his parents is attacked. This puts him in a double bind, as he struggles with loyalty issues, guilt, and the hurt of being left behind. However, if you can make peace, you will gift your child with the chance for a happy and healthy childhood. The great thing about being divorced is that you can create your own space for happiness without having expectations for one another.
Written by a child of divorce, who witnessed true friendship after divorce first-hand. For my parents, the spark went out after 18 years of marriage. Since my parents are still close, they find themselves crossing paths fairly often. Everybody needs their space, after all. If one of them just leaves the situation for a while, they both have the space they need to cool down, and they return to what they were doing sooner than if they were both screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. Ultimately, this arrangement allows both of my parents to keep their emotions and blood pressures at appropriate levels. Any former couple who still interacts regularly should prioritize their emotional well-being over their ego.
When Anne speaks of Brian she makes him sound like great husband material. Even if I hear the same joke 20 times I will still laugh every time, he's such an entertaining character. He is her ex-husband: they divorced over 30 years ago. They are still good friends, and Anne even gets on with Brian's new wife. I like her very much and I think she likes me - we get on well.
On the other hand, the dumper would probably admit to feeling guilty upon seeing their ex regularly or worry that they are sending the wrong message. When my marriage ended, I had the misconception that two good people myself and my ex should be able to stay friends after our divorce. In my case, I was looking for closure — but soon realized that letting go of the reasons why our marriage dissolved was a healthier decision. There are many reasons why people strive to be friends with their ex after a breakup or divorce. Certainly one of the main reasons is that they have unfinished business that they hope to resolve.